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About The Couple's Garden

The title, Couple's Garden  comes from the observation that marriage is like a garden.  If it is carefully attended, regularly watered, periodically pruned and given the proper nourishment, it will grow into a place that is beautiful and pleasant.  It will be nourishing, enjoyable, a place one looks forward to at the end of a long day.

However, if it is neglected, not watered, not nourished, not pruned, it can grow dry and dead, a place where only thistles and weeds can grow.  Being present in such a garden is not pleasant, but only a reminder of gardening failures.

The danger for most marriages is malnourishment, not pathology.  In an era of two career couples, a fast paced life and demands from a busy and exacting world, our marriages are often the thing we take for granted, and ironically our marriages become our first selection for neglect.

When it comes to a choice between children, careers or life partners, it is easy to conclude that our life partner can do without our conscious attention, at least for a while.  Paradoxically, it is often because we trust our marriages, we begin to neglect them. Then the garden begins to shrivel and dry upand before we know it, we don't like being there any more.

The Couple's Garden program is designed to provide information and support for couples to begin and then continue throughout their lives the habit of regularly taking time to attend to and nourish the garden of their love.

A good rule of thumb for relationships is, "A little bit of change over a long period of time is better than massive changes over a short period of time".  The reason is that small changes are easier to assimilate and will tend to be more lasting than major changes.  If I may change metaphors for a minute, in some ways marriages are similar to a space probe to a distant planet.  When the spacecraft is off target and will end up missing its goal by hundreds of thousands of miles, what is needed is a very small mid-course correction.  Similarly, many couples discover that small changes, small shifts in the relationship that take only awareness and a few seconds can have a profound effect on the relationship.  A Couple's Garden Seminar is a place where these "tips" and suggestions can be found.

Another metaphor we use in the Couple's Garden is of a couple buying a season ticket to each other.  Just as when you buy a season ticket to the theater, you are scheduling, prioritizing, dedicating several evenings each year to attending the theater, so when you join a Couple's Garden chapter or begin a Couple's Garden program, you are scheduling five or six special Smart Date Nights.  These special smart date nights are dedicated to the care and nurture of each other and of the relationship.  You are wise to schedule them in advance, place them on your calendar and then highly prioritize them.


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